Backup: A Heathen in the Kingdom of Peace -- Before the Storm

[[JMR201909112101: 
[Note(Jeremy): Joel explained to me that the impressions I take note of in my journals may be considered a type of what is called automatic writing in your English literature of psychology and parapsychology. I should explain. I often note my less concrete impressions in parantheses, and my more concrete impressions in braces. These impressions come from within, or through my own heart, not from the writing instrument under my fingers or anything external.]

[Note(Joel): If you have noticed the dates in the timestamps, there is a clarification that might be useful. In the date shown above, 7D9 is the year number in hexadecimal; 02 is the month number, also hexadecimal; and 15 is the day number, also hexadecimal. Thus, using the more familiar ordinal dates in decimal, this would be the 22nd day of the third month of the 2010th year fromthe meridian date point.]

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BOE

Table of Contents

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[[JMR201909092328: Backup of https://joelrees-novels.blogspot.com/2019/09/heathen-in-kingdom-of-peace-before-storm.html.]]
 
Arrival

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$$ resume browse

$ journal KOP

# private unshared: 7D9.02.15 4:74:E0

#include "chat/Hailey/7D9.02.15 4:55:87" copy

That conversation could have gone a lot better.

{So it did not go the way you thought you wanted it to go.}

Okay, I guess it could have gone worse, too. At least she's still talking to me.

{And?}

Why do we always seem to get crosswise of each other?

{Search your heart.}

I guess we seem to be heading different directions, even though we have some important things in common.

{Seem to be?}

Maybe we are, in fact. But we both attend branches of the same church, we've both been missionaries, neither of us has apostatized. We both are pursuing teaching careers.

{And how does her teaching philosophy compare to yours?}

But -- I know she'll come around to student-driven lessons.

{Isn't she also hoping you'll come around to planned curriculum?}

These are fundamental principles of Truth! Fundamentals of the Good News.

{Are there not cases where the same true principles apply differently for different individuals in leading them both to greater truth, in leading them both back to me?}

That's my whole point.

{What are the most important things to consider when the two of you choose your eternal partners?}

What's more important than truth?

{Does whether you can work together count?}

Well, I guess that is important. Maybe more important.

Okay, I suppose I should apologize to the BOE here for making an agreement with them that I shouldn't have made, and go home to Hailey, leaving them in the lurch?

# 7D9.02.15 4:7F:4B

(No response?)

If I do what Hailey sees as standing by her I have to break promises to the BOE here and others, and also set aside the promise of financial stability from having an advanced degree for several years. And postponing advanced degree work often means the degree never gets completed, with supervising teachers moving and such. And then we'll end up having to both work, just to afford to start a family.

But if I keep my promises to the BOE here and stay on track for the degree, Hailey sees that as failing to stand by her.

I don't see any path forward.

{Are you married to her already?}

I can't really stand by her if I turn my back on other promises I've made and shut my eyes and ears to the directions and impressions that I believe are from you, Father. She shouldn't demand that I put her above God.

(Now I'm feeling a partial confirmation.)

What am I missing?

{That's something you have to figure out on your own.}

I hate it when you tell me that, Father.

{Whom I love, I allow to use their own brains.}

Heh. Thanks.

Sort of.

Maybe I should take a hike and do some more thinking.

{Might be a good idea.}

$ terminate

# 7D9.02.15 4:8B:7B saved.

$ journal ALT

# resume shared: 7D9.02.15 4:A1:79
# Hailey 9:80 -

So I thought I'd wander around the town and do some thinking and maybe find breakfast. And I checked with the operator to see if it really was okay to leave the luggage. 

#$[Hailey/7D9.02.15 7:4F:10 9:80 -:

Breakfast! Stop talking sense! Good for you.
]

#$[Jeremy/7D9.02.15 7:B3:03:

B-/
]

He said it was okay, they'll keep an eye on the luggage holding area. 

#include "pic/0000B1" 3 compressed copy "2nd operator on duty at Deer Isles Bus Terminal on 2.15 --
He agreed to let me take a picture of him."

We got to talking and he told me it's not as much the middle of nowhere as the other operator made it sound, although things are more convenient at Light Crossing where the ferry station is. Most travelers continue on to the ferry station, rather than stop at Shining Springs. 

But, usually, one or two taxis will be waiting for the bus at Shining Springs, and there are several good db&bs within a quarter-hour ride of the bus stop, including the one she mentioned.

He also said it wouldn't really have been a problem to arrive at a db&b before noon. The baths are generally closed until after noon, for cleaning, but I'd probably be able to park the luggage and get something for breakfast, depending on the number of other unexpected early guests and such. 

And he suggested a db&b near the terminal here where I should be able to buy a good breakfast. 


#$[Hailey/7D9.02.15 7:53:93 9:80 -:

That was nice of him.
]


There's a long-distance bus every two hours, and I'm thinking of taking the next one at 6:28. Or maybe I'll stay a day here and get a good bath in the evening, in case I meet someone from the BOE tomorrow. The operator said they'll extend the fare to tomorrow for me if I want. 

I'll go see about breakfast now.

#$[Hailey/7D9.02.15 7:55:22 9:80 -:

So now you're coming down with a bad case of common sense!

;-)
]

#$[Jeremy/7D9.02.15 7:B5:42:

>:|-
]

$ suspend

# 7D9.02.15 4:B5:9F (autosave)
# Hailey 9:80 -

$ resume

# shared: 7D9.02.15 5:33:65
# Hailey 9:80 -

Breakfast was good -- ocean fish, light bean broth, cracked giant millet, baked plantain. 

#$[Hailey/7D9.02.15 7:56:63 9:80 -:

That sounds like a good, traditional, KOP-ish breakfast. 
I might even have been able to stomach watching you eat it.

Did they have pancakes, too?
]

#$[Jeremy/7D9.02.15 7:B6:1B:

Actually, yes, I think they did, with plum sauce for a topping.
]

#$[Hailey/7D9.02.15 8:12:61 9:80 -:

Sounds delish!
]

I decided to stay the day, and, no, the female operator has not shown up. 

#$[Hailey/7D9.02.15 7:57:81 9:80 -:

More good sense, and you guessed my next question.
]

There's some good hiking parallel to the beach, and I think I could use a swim. And I won't say I wish you were here because you told me not to.

#$[Hailey/7D9.02.15 7:59:C5 9:80 -:

And sly digs like that are cheating!
]

#$[Jeremy/7D9.02.15 7:B7:74:

By your new rules, which I haven't quite convinced myself I have accepted.
]

#$[Hailey/7D9.02.15 8:13:9A 9:80 -:

And if you like talking to yourself, 
you don't have to accept them.
]

$ suspend

# 7D9.02.15 5:38:DC (autosave)
# Hailey 9:80 -

$ resume

# shared: 7D9.02.15 7:B9:D7
# Hailey 9:80 -

After breakfast, they let me pay for a room so I could store my luggage and rest. I said I was interested in hiking the beach and maybe swimming, but they warned me, the season being early, about sharks and floating moons. And no lifeguards. Asked me to promise not to go in the water. 

#$[Hailey/7D9.02.15 8:15:36 9:80 -:

Sensible people there. 
Maybe I could get along there better than I thought.
]

#$[Jeremy/7D9.02.15 8:61:6D:

How can I encourage you to think so?
]

The sea was beautiful, if a bit cold. 
I did do some wading.

#$[Hailey/7D9.02.15 8:16:9B 9:80 -:

Up to your waist, I'll bet.
]

#$[Jeremy/7D9.02.15 8:62:B3:

Just to my knees in places. 

Found a nice round rock and sat down to soak my feet a few minutes.
]

#$[Hailey/7D9.02.15 9:10:BD 9:80 -:

Turning sedentary on me?

I think, 
If I were there, 
You'd be swimming.
]

#$[Jeremy/7D9.02.15 9:12:2E:

You might be right about that.
]

Clear blue water in places, lots of sea vegetables in others. Didn't see any sharks.

#$[Hailey/7D9.02.15 8:17:F5 9:80 -:

That's the whole point. 
You usually don't see them.
Until it's too late.
]

#$[Jeremy/7D9.02.15 8:64:31:

I can be sensible, sometimes.
]

Passed several secluded pools that have been augmented with above-ground walls and decks for private bathing. Those were also closed for cleaning. I should have taken a picture.

#$[Hailey/7D9.02.15 8:1D:1C 9:80 -:

I do not want to hear about those.
Do not want pics.
]

#$[Jeremy/7D9.02.15 8:65:AF:

There was nobody in it. And it'd be perfectly okay if we were married, you know.
]

#$[Hailey/7D9.02.15 9:12:C6 9:80 -:

You're being too male.
]

#$[Jeremy/7D9.02.15 9:13:C9:

Sorry.
]

Did a bit more hiking and watching the sea, and a bit of complaining at God, which was answered by reassurances that I'm supposed to respect your right to choose.

#$[Hailey/7D9.02.15 8:1E:7B 9:80 -:

I'm glad your God is on my side.
]

#$[Jeremy/7D9.02.15 8:66:67:

Of course He is.
]

#$[Hailey/7D9.02.15 9:14:0A 9:80 -:

I wish I could be confident my God was on your side.
]

#$[Jeremy/7D9.02.15 9:14:FD:

She is the same God.
]

#$[Hailey/7D9.02.15 9:15:C2 9:80 -:

Sometimes you are too cryptic.
]

#$[Jeremy/7D9.02.15 9:17:19:

We need to read the scriptures together more.
]

#$[Hailey/7D9.02.15 9:18:E6 9:80 -:

You know I can't keep up with you.
]

Am I pushing you too much?


#$[Hailey/7D9.02.15 8:21:4C 9:80 -:

Sometimes, 
Yes.
]

#$[Jeremy/7D9.02.15 8:69:CB:

Maybe it is a good thing for us to be apart for a while, then.
Forcing you is the last thing I want to do.
]

Came back for lunch.

$ suspend

# 7D9.02.15 7:BF:83 (autosave)
# Hailey 9:80 -

$ chat Hailey

# private: 7D9.02.15 9:1B:21
# Hailey 9:80 -

Do you have time to chat?

A little.

We've talked before

about how you help me slow me down,

when we're reading scriptures together,

right?

That doesn't mean I understand it.

You probably need me 

to help you slow down,

 too.

That seems so wrong.

Some kinds of progress are wrong.

But then it wouldn't be progress.
It'd be pride or something.

I think that's the point.

When we study together,

we can help keep each other humble.

But you still argue.

Discuss?

You say that,
But it feels like arguing to me.

Discussion can include

comparing different ideas,

can't it?

But your ideas are just sometimes 
Too strange.
Like when you say
the straight and narrow is a false concept.
How can scripture be false? 

I don't want to get sidetracked

 on that one again.

Can't we just agree to disagree

about some things?

A lot of things.

Sorry.

You say that too much.
Love should mean
We don't have to say we're sorry.

That's defnitely not scripture.

It is to me.

And so I can't even apologize

for mistreating one of your pearls.

Apology accepted.

Thanks.

Guess what.

Your operator showed up for lunch.

Heh.

 No.

A member of the BOE,

one Mister Feldspar.

A member of the BOE?
How would that happen?

He said foreigners

who speak the language

tend to stick out.

Hah. 
I guess 
I can believe that.

And that the BOEs of the two cities

had asked people

to be on the lookout.

No privacy. 

For us.

For us?

Yeah.

Oh. Watching for me, too. 
Give them my apologies 
For breaking up with you. 

He said it was too bad you couldn't make it.
They were looking forward to having you here.

I've heard people in the KOP 
Have no personal lives. 

Yeah.

That is one of the reasons 

I did not want to go. 

I've asked God 

if I should just break the contract

and go home.

Oh?
 

He doesn't give me an answer.

# 7D9.02.15 9:48:A9

I guess I'm not surprised.

Mister Feldspar said some of the members of the BOE

want to meet with me tomorrow.

Did you ask whether it was required? 

No.

He recommended against it

before I could ask.

Said I should finish my vacation.

He seems to be on your side.
Maybe.  
Did he say having me not there
Would cause problems with the BOE for you?

He said no.

That's good. 

But the expression he used worries me.

Why's that? 

It's an expression they tend to use

when they want to be even less direct

than usual.

Vague?

Vague.

Not good?

Maybe not.

# 7D9.02.15 9:63:4E

I'm not sure what I can do.
Besides pray for you.
And I am.
But I've got to go to bed, now.

Okay,
I'm praying, too,
of course.
Get some sleep.

$ terminate

# 7D9.02.15 9:69:E8 saved
# Hailey 9:80 -

$$ suspend browse

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[Note(Jeremy): Joel explained to me that the impressions I take note of in my journals may be considered a type of what is called automatic writing in your English literature of psychology and parapsychology. I should explain. I often note my less concrete impressions in parantheses, and my more concrete impressions in braces. These impressions come from within, or through my own heart, not from the writing instrument under my fingers or anything external.]

---

BOE

Table of Contents

---

Backed up at ,