Previous: Ambiguities, Day 2
When I woke up at daybreak, Teru was watching me from across the kakebuton. She smiled. "Run?"
"Yeah. Same park or someplace new?"
"I want to learn the route."
So we ran the same route and stopped again to watch the birds and the turtles.
For breakfast, we boiled eggs and made salad, enough to cover breakfasts over the weekend. And of course we got some rice cooking.
After breakfast, I picked up my scriptures and asked, "Anything you want to read about?"
"Sufficient unto the day is the good thereof."
"Okay, let me think." And a verse came to mind. "'Cast your bread upon the waters.' Let's see what the search engine brings up." I typed it into my cell phone's search function. "No, the preacher, and vanity of vanities isn't exactly what I'm looking for. Let me see. Ah. Let's try 'Give and it shall be given unto you.'" Again I searched the web. "That's it."
But I had to back up a few verses.
... Love your enemies, do good to them which hate you.
Bless them that curse you ...
"Huh?" Teru started reading with me. "'Give to every man that asketh of thee.' This is hard stuff."
"Sort of."
"I mean, if a guy asks me to sleep with him, ..."
"Well, there are other scriptures that tell us not to do that. I think it's talking more about money and food and such."
"That's better. Maybe I could even accept it."
"There's also a scripture about not running faster than we are able."
"Jun thinks you help him because you think you owe him something, but you're just doing what this scripture says."
"Well, yeah, sort of. Let's keep reading."
Love your enemies."Is that why you love me?"
"It's part of why I haven't just turned my back on Jun. But I've never thought of you as my enemy. And I like you, erm, and love you for lots of reasons."
She looked at me sideways and smiled. "Such as?"
I blinked and thought for a moment and hedged. "Lots of reasons."
"You're turning pink under the ears."
"Let's keep reading."
She leaned against me and I put my arm around her and we returned to reading. Suddenly she sat up.
Give, and it shall be given unto you; good measure, pressed down, and shaken together, and running over, ...She finished reading to herself.
"Okay. I see what you mean. Your God doesn't want you to always not have enough."
"Us. He's your Father, too. And now that you put it that way, I can think of more references, but I think that's enough scriptures for today."
"Yeah, I want to see about installing openBSD on your cheap computer."
So I studied my manuals and watched Teru prepare an SD card to boot openBSD from, to test the cheap computer's compatibility before actually attempting to install a secure operating system directly on the computer.
"OpenBSD?" I asked. "That's pretty serious, isn't it? Wouldn't a Linux OS good enough?"
"They're getting IP and licensing problems."
"Intellectual property. Some say the term is an oxymoron."
"Jun calls it intellectual paucity, and I tend to agree. Lots of people aren't sure the GPL works for Linux kernel OSses any more. You know what Microsoft and Intel do."
"Use every excuse they can to hide that IP in it everywhere they can, I suppose, so they can claim the right to impose their tarriffs and controls."
"Lots of systemd cruft, too."
"Systemd?"
"Let's save that for when you have time to listen to me rant." She laughed a little ruefully.
"I have to learn how to handle your hystrionics."
"I'm not as bad now as I was at thirteen." She gave me an innocent smile. "Usually. But ..."
"Okay, I guess I'll take your word for it today."
Her smile broadened into a grin, but then error logging messages on the computer screen took her attention. I went back to the manual I was reading.
After a few minutes, she asked without looking around, "Is your job hard? Jun was surprised you'd take a job like that."
"Well, I guess if he tracked my apartment down, I probably shouldn't be surprised he knows what my job is, too. Hard? It's not loading trucks at the docks, but it is pretty physical at times. And it can be both mentally and emotionally demanding, too."
"Like?"
"Helping an elderly person get from bed to wheelchair requires both strength and leverage, wrestling style."
"Wrestling?"
"Gently. If you try to just pick them straight up, you can hurt both them and yourself. And when they need to go to the toilet from there, it can get a little stressful, because they can become unable to use their own muscles."
"You have to help the ladies to, uhm, do their business? Not just the guys?"
"Yep. Sometimes I have to help them stand while I help them get their underwear down and up. And sometimes I have to clean their bodies where they can't."
She digested that for a moment. "That would be really hard."
"I just see it as taking care of things that need to be taken care, and it doesn't really bother me. And I use rubber gloves, of course. Don't want to spread all sorts of skin conditions."
"Hmm." Teru was thinking, but she didn't say what she was thinking.
I continued. "Then there are the times somebody just doesn't want to get up to go to the cafeteria to eat, and you have to figure out whether to encourage him to get up or take his vital signs and call a nurse."
"Wow. So you have to learn to read their minds a little."
"Heh. And times when one of them will be asking where his room is and another will be trying to convince you that, this time, she's got a real good reason that you should just let her go home alone instead of having her wait for her family to come another day."
She let out an ironic laugh. "It's a little like a prison, isn't it?"
"Well, if a resident insists on leaving, we actually can't keep them there, but we also can't let them put themselves in danger."
"What do you do?"
"Often, talking to someone in charge gets them settled down. Or if family is available to come talk, that usually works even better."
"Hmm. Is it insecurity? Everything they knew is gone, so they want something familiar, or at least something reassuring?"
"I think that's usually what it is. It helps when family members can regularly visit and take them home for a little while, too. But sometimes family can't come, and we have to do things that are a little hard on my conscience, like convincing them to take sedatives."
"Yuck. I couldn't do that."
"Fortunately, it's the nurse and the facility manager who take care of that, not me." I showed her the section in the manual where it described the decision processes. "Unless I'm on night duty, but I don't have the training for that yet."
She read the manual section I pointed out. "Good thing that's not a computer system. I can see lots of, uhm, vulnerabilities."
"Incorrectly and incompletely specified procedures. Covered by ishindenshin because of this overly strong culture we were raised in."
"Intuition and telepathy. Would it work for me?"
"I think the cultural stuff that makes it work is actually derived from the bōryokudan culture."
"The kumi." She sighed. "It must be hard for you."
"Sometimes I have to make myself think like Jun."
"Sorry."
"Not something for you to apologize for. Not a decision you made."
She bit her lip and focused on the screen.
I considered talking about the freedom taught in the Christian religion, but didn't feel like pushing that path any further just then. Too much going on between us.
With the SD install started and nothing to do for a while, she started reading over my shoulder, and we talked about random things from the manual. Having someone to discuss it with helped me study.
We were able to test boot openBSD from the SD card before Teru left for work, but that was all. Installing the better OS would have to wait.
The woman on the train seemed to have been waiting for me when I got on.
"Hi again."
I gave her a smile while I wondered whether God really wanted me to look any further than Teru.
She smiled back, then must have read my hesitation. "Lot on your mind again?"
So I decided to tell her about Teru. "Sudden roommate problems."
"That guy you were talking with the other day?"
"Actually," I hesitated, "his little sister."
Her eyes widened, and she shrank back. "No way."
"It's not like we're shacked up or something like that. Just until we can find her a better place. I'm kind of hoping someone from church can help."
"How old is she?"
"Sixteen."
Her eyes widened. "Well, if he's there, too."
"He isn't.
Her expression narrowed. "That's the most dangerous age for a girl to be alone with a good looking guy."
"Good looking. Hah. But I've been explaining to her how everyone is beautiful to the people that matter to them, and she seems to be understanding."
"Okay, now it's official. You are just too weird." She laughed, but she seemed to relax. "Doesn't she get mad at you when you talk like that?"
"It's a subject that she used to talk about with my parents."
"Okay, they are friends of the family. Couldn't she stay with your parents?"
"My parents have separated. But if my sisters or my mom lived close, one of them would definitely have been a better option."
"Sorry to hear about your parents. Their parents died or something?"
"A long time ago, and their stepparents have not provided the best homes for them. Just recently, things have gotten impossible. Seriously abusive."
"Maybe I can understand this, then." She seemed to debate something with herself, then said, "Your station's coming up. You know, we could share Line IDs."
"You would trust a weird guy like me that far?"
"Safer than my phone number, and something tells me we should keep talking."
"All right."
I got my cell phone out of my front jeans pocket, and she took hers from her purse. She brought up her QR code first, so I read it into my phone and accepted the friend request.
At work, my boss dropped in at the break room at lunch again.
"Get something solved? You're less distracted today than yesterday."
I just grinned and said, "I think things will work out okay."
That seemed to satisfy her, partially.
"I've shifted my lunch schedule today. Mind if I eat with you?"
"Can't very well tell you no, can I?"
"Of course you can. I can always go to the cafeteria."
"No, I don't mind."
So she went to the cafeteria and brought back a tray for herself. Lunch for the staff from the cafeteria is cheap, but I usually prefer to cook for myself. My body's needs are different from the residents' needs.
"So, how are things here? Are you getting along okay?"
"So far, yeah. I think I'll be ready to take the certification classes pretty soon."
"Good."
I could tell by her response that certification was not what she thought she was there to talk about. "You want to ask me about the package."
"I'm a little worried, although not as much today as yesterday."
I nodded. "My best frenemy's little sister."
"What?"
"I have a new roommate."
She looked at me, trying to probe my thinking. "I wouldn't have thought you the type to just start living with a girl."
"She's sixteen, and we aren't having sex."
"But you're apartment is a one-room. You can't avoid each other."
"We've managed to give each other enough privacy so far, but it's only a temporary situation until we can find something more appropriate. I won't let it affect my work."
"Sounds like excuses, and you already have let it affect your work."
"I didn't make any mistakes yesterday, and I wasn't behind schedule."
"It's the face time with the residents, not the schedule, I'm looking at. As your boss I can complain only if it seriously interferes with your work. But it still worries me."
"I'm having the congregation leader ask around at church, but so far no one seems to be willing to take an unknown girl in. Maybe after I take her to church on Sunday things will open up."
"Well, you do have Sunday off this week. Do you mind if I ask around, too?"
"There are a number of complicating factors. I'm not sure it would be a good idea, at least, not now."
My cell phone pinged.
"Is that her?"
I checked. "No, this is a woman I met recently on the train."
My boss slowly started grinning. "Okay, maybe I should keep out of this."
"Whatever you're thinking, it's probably not what you think."
She laughed. "Okay, I won't start any rumors. I'll just tell everyone you have several good reasons to be distracted."
"Thank you. I think."
I pulled up the Line app and she focused on eating.
Fumie: Hi!My cellphone pinged again.
Ryō: Hi! You caught me on lunch.
Fumie: Oh, good.
Ryō: and saved me from talking with
the boss.
Fumie: I'm sure he's worried.
Ryō: She.
And how is it everyone knows what's
happening to me?
;-)
Fumie: Women can read men like a book.
Ryō: Yeah, right.
Heh.
What's up?
Fumie: I was thinking that,
well, maybe I could meet
your roommate sometime.
Ryō: Hold on, she just sent me an e-mail.I switched over to the e-mail app.
Fumie: Okay.
> Where did you get this computer?I switched back to the chat.
That small appliances shop in the mall where
we bought the SD cards.
> It already has a libre host OS in it,
> Reiisi Kenkyū's split stack OS.
> That's like cutting edge stuff.
>
> And Microsoft's abomination is running in
> a VM, as a hosted OS.
No kidding?
> Saves us a lot of work.
Great.
> Also gives us a lot of options. I'll tell you
> more when I get home from that date tonight.
Sounds good.
BTW, there's this woman I've met on the train. She
says she's Christian, and I told her about my
suddenly having a roommate.
I didn't tell her everything, of course.
I'm chatting with her on Line, and she says she
wants to meet you.
I think she's trying to figure out how involved we
are.
What do you think?
Are you okay with me possibly dating other women?
Are you interested in meeting her?
Ryō: I'm back.My boss was watching me and laughing to herself. Then my phone pinged again. I checked the message from Teru.
Asking her if she wants to meet a woman I met on
the train.
Fumie: Already?
I was thinking _sometime_.
Ryō: I was too quick with that?
Fumie: Yes.
Ryō: Sorry.
> If I have to date other people, you do, too.I sent that, and switched back to the chat session.
>
> But I dont have to like it.
Agreed. I'm not finding this comfortable.
At all.
> I'm not ready to meet her. Yet.
Gotcha. Not yet.
> And maybe it's not fair, but I need you to be
> here tonight when I get back.
> And I won't need other people there.
I'll be there, alone.
Gotta get back to work pretty soon.
Fumie: Maybe we could get together somewhere to"Whatever you're up to, don't let it interfere with your work." The words were harsh, but the tone was humorous. And my boss was laughing with me, not at me.
talk.
Ryō: I would like that. I need to get back to work
now.
Fumie: Okay. Can we chat after you get off?
Ryō: Sure. Ping me around 7:45.
I hurriedly ate the rest of the lunch Teru and I had prepared together, thinking about how much easier life would be if I just gave in to Jun's apparent intent to get Teru and me together.
I got a ping from Fumie while I was walking to the station. I was expecting her to ask when we could get together, but we chatted about church instead, about experiences and beliefs and the congregations we attended. We were still chatting when I heard Teru and her date stop outside the apartment door. I told her I had to go, and we promised to chat more the next day.
"No. I don't want to give you a goodnight kiss, Mr. Inoshita. And you can't come in. I shouldn't have let you walk me home." Teru's voice was quiet, but insistent.
I quietly stepped into the entryway and looked out the security peephole.
"Oh, come on. I know you want it, just like I do."
It was hard to see all of what was happening, because her date was leaning against the wall, mostly outside the viewing range of the peephole.
Blocking the keycard reader.
I could see Teru's face clearly enough to watch her expression shift from firm to dark. "You got your share of lip while we were standing in front of one of the jellyfish exhibits."
"Was that where it was? I was distracted."
Without thinking, I slapped the side of my head lightly. At the edge of the visual field, I saw Mr. Inoshita start and look for the source of the sound, amplified, muffled, and distributed as it was by the door my forehead was leaning against.
"What was that?"
Teru glanced at the security peephole while he was distracted and winked.
"What?"
"I heard a thump."
"You're hearing ghosts because you're being a bad boy?"
I had been the target of her sarcasm often enough when we were younger, and I had learned how to trade barbs and when not to. This poor guy was now trying to decide whether she was flirting or warning him off. I hoped for his sake he got it right.
Yes, I could open the door and stop her if necessary, but I knew he'd take damage first. I could stop him now, but I knew she wanted me to let her handle it.
I saw his arm reach out and immediately heard the slap as she deflected it, and felt the impact as the arm slapped against the door below the peephole.
"Wow. That was not necessary."
"It was a warning."
He made his final move, and I quickly opened the door to find him hitting the cement face down and rolling. Teru had backed off, relying on my presence to save him from further damage to his person and dignity.
He rebounded, but came to an abrupt stop when he saw me, bracing himself in a squat against the outside wall to keep his momentum from sending him to the ground again. Fortunately it was high enough to prevent him going over the wall.
"Wh-who are you?"
"Someone who is going to save your life or save your former date the trouble of ending it. The decision is yours." I let him think about the meaning of that.
"I told you my big brother is mean, and he has mean friends." Teru was fully in control of herself. "I'm sorry I misjudged you, and I'm just as glad Ryō is here, so you don't have to make a fool of yourself any more tonight. Promise not to make a fool of yourself at work, and I'll let you go with just this warning."
His dignity was hurt, so I thought quickly. "Mr. Inoshita, it is rather unfortunate that this misunderstanding has occurred. Would you like to come in and talk about it?"
Teru gave me a sharp look, and I gave her an imperceptible shake of the head.
"Uhm, I don't guess it would help."
"Then should we talk here?" I squatted down and Teru leaned against the inner wall.
"What's to talk about?"
"Wouldn't you like to know where you went wrong? You were lucky this time, but the next time there might not be someone to stop you."
"Huh?"
"Listen to him."
Mr. Inoshita looked from Teru to me and back. "Are you saying she could have killed me?"
"Teru is intelligent enough not to cause herself problems with the police, but she knows how to make you wish you were dead, without leaving evidence." I paused.
"But. That's not the point. What happens when you try forcing yourself on a woman who doesn't know how to defend herself, and can't stop you?"
He was caught, but his guard was still up.
"Okay, what happens?"
"Life-changing things happen. If you're lucky, the woman's parents find out and you have to face prosecution for rape."
"That's lucky?"
"It gives you a chance to decide if that's really the way you want your relatioships in this life -- forced."
His guard finally dropped, and his face registered confusion, then anger. "My mom told me I had to take what I wanted or I wouldn't get it."
I turned to Teru and kicked my head back, demanding. "C'mere Babe."
She snickered, then laughed. "Forget it."
I turned back to Mr. Inoshita. "Am I less of a man because she turned me down, or more of a man because I let her?"
He was now thoroughly confused. "How tough are you?"
"Ryō and I spar," Teru said gently, "and I can only beat him when he lets me. Jun says he's never beaten Ryō."
I decided to try the doctrinal approach. "Strong people are strong because they have learned not to take what is not given them."
Mr. Inoshita slid down to sit on the cement and took a deep breath. "Okay, I'm sorry I kissed you without asking back there in front of the jellyfish, and I'm sorry for being such a jerk the rest of the time."
"Apology accepted, conditionally."
I looked at Teru and raised my eyebrows. She gave me the same expression back.
"I bragged to some of my friends about tonight."
"Now you can brag about living to tell about it."
I shook my head and laughed quietly.
Mr. Inoshita did, too. "I guess that's true."
"I'm sure you'll understand when I tell you not to ask me out again."
"Well, yeah. I guess, now that I've cooled down a little, I undestand."
"But I'll be okay with it if you come along on group dates, if you behave."
"Group dates? What groups?"
"Work, or church."
I concealed my surprise at Teru's suggestion.
"Church? I don't go to church. Do you?"
Teru looked at me, and I read her intent. "Let me give you the address where we go to church, if you're interested. But you really have to behave yourself with the people there." I looked the address up on my phone while Teru ducked inside for some paper and a pencil, and I showed him on the map, and wrote it down and gave it to him.
He looked at the paper doubtfully, but accepted it. Then he said he guessed he should go, and we said goodnight.
Teru and I ate dinner together quietly. As we cleaned the dishes, she commented, mostly to herself, "I think I need to learn a different way to behave on dates."
"Church?"
"Well, I said I go, I guess I go now. Can I have a kiss now?"
I turned and leaned over and gave her a light peck on the lips, and she closed her eyes.
"I am satisfied with that. I have to be satisfied with that."
I put the pan I had in my hand down and wrapped my arms around her and we sat down together and just hugged for something like five minutes, until she said, "Okay, I can handle this."
When we were done with baths and the lights were out, both of us lay awake, looking at each other over the top of the rolled-up kakebuton, not saying anything, until sleep overcame us.
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